Who can visit you in the hospital, and who decides for you
Federal rules let you choose your hospital visitors, including a partner or chosen family. Deciding who makes medical decisions if you can't takes one more step.
Key takeaways
- Hospitals that take Medicare or Medicaid can't limit visitors based on sexual orientation or gender identity.
- A health care proxy lets you name anyone you trust to make decisions for you.
- Without one, state law decides, and it often favors legal relatives.
For a long time, same-sex partners and chosen family could be turned away at the hospital door because they weren't "family." That changed in 2011. But visiting someone and making decisions for them are two different things, and the second one still takes planning.
Your right to choose visitors
Since January 2011, federal rules have required hospitals that take part in Medicare and Medicaid, which is nearly all of them, to tell patients they have the right to choose their visitors. Hospitals can't restrict visitors based on race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability. Your visitor can be a spouse, a domestic partner, a friend, or anyone else you name.
“…decide who has visitation rights and who can make medical decisions on their behalf, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, or family makeup.”
Making decisions for you
If you can't speak for yourself, someone has to make medical decisions for you. If you haven't named anyone, your state's law decides who that is, and it often goes to a spouse, parent, or adult child before anyone else. That can leave out an unmarried partner or the friends who are your real family.
The fix is a health care proxy, also called a durable power of attorney for health care. It's a legal form where you name the person you trust to make decisions for you. The National Institute on Aging suggests choosing someone you trust who knows your wishes and is willing to speak up for them. It doesn't have to be a relative.
2 in 3
LGBTQ+ older adults consider their friends chosen family
What to do now
- Fill out your state's advance directive form. Many states have free forms, and some don't require a lawyer.
- Talk with the person you name about what matters to you.
- Give copies to that person and your providers, and keep one on your phone.
- Consider a HIPAA release so providers can share information with the people you choose.
This article is general information, not legal advice. Rules for advance directives vary by state.
Sources
- Electronic Code of Federal Regulations, 42 CFR 482.13(h), Patient visitation rights
- Family Caregiver Alliance, Special Concerns of LGBTQ+ Caregivers
- National Institute on Aging, Choosing a Health Care Proxy
- MedlinePlus, Advance Directives
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