What to do after a bad experience with a provider
If a provider refused you care, misgendered you, or treated you badly, it wasn't your fault. Here are your options, from writing it down to filing a complaint.
Key takeaways
- Write down what happened as soon as you can.
- You can complain to the practice, the state licensing board, or a civil rights agency.
- Deadlines vary by state, so act soon if you want to file.
In our 2025 survey, half of LGBTQ+ adults said they had been refused care, and a third said they had been misgendered. If something like that happened to you, you can take any of these steps, all of them, or none. Do what feels right.
50%
have been refused care
33%
have been misgendered by a provider
1. Write down what happened
Do it soon, while the details are fresh: the date, time, and place, the names of anyone involved, what was said and done, and anyone who saw it. Keep bills, letters, and portal messages.
2. Get a copy of your records
Under federal privacy law (HIPAA), you have the right to a copy of your medical records, and providers generally have to respond within 30 days. Reading what was written about your visit can help if you decide to file a complaint.
3. Tell the practice or hospital
Hospitals and larger clinics usually have a patient advocate or patient relations office. Ask for a written response. Sometimes this is enough to get an apology, a new provider, or a change in how things are done.
4. Report to your state licensing board
Every state has a board that licenses doctors and reviews complaints about their conduct. Nurses, therapists, and other professionals have their own boards. The Federation of State Medical Boards keeps a list of every state's medical board, and most accept complaints online.
5. File a discrimination complaint
Some states and cities have laws that protect LGBTQ+ people from discrimination in healthcare, with agencies that take complaints. Deadlines vary a lot, from 180 days to two years depending on where you live.
6. Get legal help
Lambda Legal runs a free Help Desk for LGBTQ+ people and people living with HIV facing discrimination, including in healthcare. A local LGBTQ+ center may also know lawyers in your area.
7. Take care of yourself
A bad experience can make it harder to go back. That makes sense. When you're ready, how to tell if a provider is affirming can help you find someone better, and how to find peer support can help you find people who've been there.
This article is general information, not legal advice.
Sources
- QT Care survey of 126 LGBTQ+ adults, 2025
- National Women's Law Center, Know Your Rights: Health Care Discrimination, July 2026
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Your Medical Records
- Federation of State Medical Boards, Contact a State Medical Board
- Lambda Legal, Help Desk
Last reviewed . Found something out of date? Email hello@qt.care.
